Tongue Twister

XD a little game^.^

1. Flee from fog to fight fluu fast
2. I wish you were a fish in my dish
3. Vincent vowed vengence very vehemently
4. We surely shall see the sun shine soon
5. Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings
6. A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk
7. Three free throws
8. Red lorry. Yellow lorry. Red lorry. Yellow lorry.
9. the sheik's sicth sheep's sick
10. five fat friars frying flat fish
11. Double bubble gun bubbles double
12. A noisy noise annoyes an oyster
13. I slit a sheet. A sheet i slit. Upon the slitted sheet I sit!
14. Gertie's great-grandma grew aghast at Gertie's grammar.
15. Where's the big black bear, the big black bug bit?
16. Six short slow sheephers
17. Fat frogs flying past fast
18. Sily sheep weep and sleep
19. Shy shelly says she shall sew sheet
20. She sees cheese

4 floors building

There was a condominium with 4 floors.
1st floor - pretty lady
2nd floor- soldier
3rd floor- teacher
4th floor- blind man

One day, the lady was bathing. Suddenly her doorbell rang. It was the soldier, came to look for her.
'Ding, Dong!' her doorbell rang. she wrapped herself with a towel n opened the door.
' Hello, you gotta congrats me! because i've finally became a captain!' said the soldier in excitement.
' Oh, i see. Congratulations! ' she congratulated him and continued her bath.
When she was about to get into the bath tub, the third floor's teacher came and rang on her doorbell.
'Ding, Dong!' her doorbell rang again. She wrapped her towel again and opened the door.
' Good day!, i've got good news! i've been promoted to be a principal!' announced the teacher proudly.
' Oh wow!, congratulations! ' she then went to continue her bath.
After she laid in the bath tub for a few minutes. the doorbell rang again. She was soo anoyed. She went to check who was it throuhg the door hole and found out that it was the blind man. She had no worries about that and cane out without her towel and opened the door.
'Hi! you gotta be happy for me!' the blind man said joyfully and stopped and walked away.
she lady was curious and stopped him and asked: ' Huh? and what should i be happy of?'
' Oh.. em..erm.. nothing.. sorry to bother you." the blind man said shylyand tried to walk away but her hands still grabbing him, refusing to let him go.
She was curious about what he was so happy about and refused to let him go unless he speak out.
So he did as he was told to, he then mumbled softly: ' You gotta congrats me because i can see now!'

Magic mirror( Joke only! )

There was a magic mirror, its power is to suck all liars. One day a chinese man stood in front of the mirror and said : ' i think im the richest person in the world!'
ZAP!!! the chinese man was sucked into the mirror.
then an indian guy stood in front of the mirror and said : ' i think im the most handsome guy in the world!
ZAP!!! again the mirror sucked another person.
Then a malay boy stood in front of the mirror and said : ' I think-'
ha hadn't even finished his sentence and he was zapped into the mirror

i guess you all understand

Fax It

A boy was working at the phone line office. His job is to pick up all the calls. There were only 3 phones.
Phone 1: Hi dear, what are you doing?
Boy : I'm working now, typing some documents.
Phone 1: Oh I see, you're too busy is it?
( actually it was his wife calling him to check whether he remember their anniversary)
Boy : Yes dear( another phone rang). I'm sorry dear, i gotta go now. call you back later.
Phone 2: Hellow, eh today don't forget to bring me to the hospital for check-ups.
Boy : Yes mother( another phone rang), It's 2 pm, I'll sure to be there. bye!
Phone 3: Hey what is my scedule for afternoon?
Boy : A meeting at 2 pm-4pm. an hour break then 5pm dinner party.
Phone 3: Good, Mind elaborate about the dinner party set up?
Boy : Sure boss, fried turkeys, shark fins soup, mixed vegetable, friend siamese noodles-( phone rang again) . boss i'll fax you the plan later.
Phone 1 : dear arh do you know what day is today?
boy : Erm... ( then he pick up another call)
Phone 2 : boy arh, now 1.55 pm le, u still at office arh?
boy : Yes mother, i'm on my way!
Phone 1 : Hello!!!! u there or not?, today is our anniversary, have you forgotten?
Boy : oh ya hor ya hor, i'll fax you the card n flowers later.
Phone 2 : you coming or not!!!? its 2 pm already and im gonna be late for my check up!!!
Boy : Oh sorry mother i'll fax you there now!

lolx

Absent/Present

Literaturer : Who didn't come today?
Michael : Michael didn't come today!
all the students laughed.
Literaturer : Henry?
Henry : Present
Litaraturer : What are the vocals?
Henry : A, E, I, O, U
Literaturer : very good. Michael?
Michael : Absent
the whole class was quiet and was expecting him to say present.
Literaturer : Patrick?
the whole class laughed
Henry : Literaturer, Michael got come la. he is the one who said absent
Michael : Literaturer, I am Michael la, i scare you ask me questions only

Human Pet

Teacher : What is the thing that separates the left and the right of the heart?
Boy : The spectrum!
Teacher : Good Dog!
Boy : Woof!
Teacher : What blood flows in the artery?
Boy : The oxygenated blood!
Teacher : Good Dog!
Boy : Woof! Thank you Owner!

swt=.=

RM 5

one day, a lady was shopping in a shopping mall but ran out of cash so she went to the ATM machine and took out some cash but the machine ran out of new big notes so gave small ugly notes. She then chose the items she wished to purchase and brought it to the counter. The cashier told her that the torned RM 5 notes can't be used when the lady paid her. The lady then told her that the RM 5 was from the ATM machine. But the cashier still dun accept it so the lady took it back and no idea how the swapped the torn RM 5 and the nice RM 5, she gave the cashier the torned RM 5 again and this time the cashier accepted it. lolx

Staff Checking

The staff were planning to take a break, so one of them was to buy the food and asked everyone.
Staff 1: so what do you guys want?
Staff 2: i want a hamburger!
Staff 3: i wan chao kuey teow
Staff 1: ok! 1 hamburger and 1 chao kuey teow!
Boss : i also want chao kuey teow without eggs pls!.

lolx XD

Logo

A group of 2 business men were creating a logo for thier company. Suddenly a man came in and gave an idea. He drew an isosceles triangle and a line underneath to show that everything is under that particular company. Then one of the business man took the paper and drew 2 dots and a line and passed back to him. they guy was stunned, holding the paper, looking at it while the business men just walked away. The picture is shown below:-

Met a Stranger Friend

After Michael, Bill and Henry has lunch, they walked back home. On the way, Henry met someone who seemed like his friend and chatted with the personfor about an hour. Michael and Bill were stunned at the way Michael talked and also the appearance of the stranger. 100% sure ly that stranger don't know henry . An hour later, Henry came back so
Bill asked him:' who is him?'
Henry replied: ' I don't know."
Bill asked him : 'then why u talk to him?'
Henry replied: ' no idea but he looks like my friend! ' XD

Steve

3 business men were planning something. After everything was well planned, they suddenly noticed they short of something and wanted to call the office boy name Steve. In the phone name list, they were 2 person name Steve. So one of them phoned him and they all started to talk about business. After one another, the phone passed round and round, over and over again. Until the end, Steve finally talked:' Oh i see, try to call my cousin Stephen's office boy, he should know all the answers to your questions. Lolx so all this while they were actually talking to the wrong person!. XD

2 old > 1 young( part II )

It was morning when the girls were roaming around, breathing clean air. Suddenly they were caught by 2 malay men. They salutated each other and talked facing each other. They younger one that is around 20's and another around 25's. The 20's one started to chat, so the girl faced him as conversation must face to face and not looking at the floor or sky. while she looked at the 20's one to talk, the 25's one got jealoused and asked:
' Why you say hi and look at him, don't look at me? see i know you're angry at me! yet you still say you're not!'
She was stunned because she wasn't angry at anyone. It's just a manners to talk facing the person. You don't expect someone's eyeballs to be separated to look at one west and one east. So they just continue chatting. Suddenly the same young malay boy came again and he thought he was strong and asked:
' What are you doing with my gf? trying to steal her away is it?'
Then the 25's one stomped him off by just saying:' Go away la you, Mind your own business!' then the 20's back-up the 25's one then both together pawned off the young boy til he went away.

swt=.= 1 vs 1 lose, 2vs1 only win =.=

1 young> 1 old

A pretty girl was sitting under a shed enjoying the lovely scenery. Suddenly a young malay boy came and accompanied her. She actually wanted a quiet time by her own. But because of nanners, she just answered all his questions. When he was about to flirt her, a malay man same whose age is around 20's. He said:' Harh! Caught you flirting with girls!' The boy said:' No, im not, we're dating!, so don't disturb us!' Surely the girl was shocked. so this was how the malay man lost to the malay boy. how dumb is it?

Small Love Story

once there was a blind man. he disliked everyone because most of them teased him as he is blind. one day, a lovely girl bounced into him and they became couple. he then told her:' if i had eyes, i would have married you!' After a few days, his wish came true, someone donated eyes to him. the very first thing he wanted to do was to marry his girlfriend. But he was surprised to see her. The girl then asked him: ' Will you marry me?' And he immediately said: 'NO!' She walked away silently with a broken heart and told him softly: 'take care...of my eyes.'

No BM in Science and Math

Why the Malaysian Government insists of using English for Science and Math. This is because the whole world uses the language as an information and/or technology language. How dangerous it will be if we try to use BM, especially in school.
Example:-
Hardware= barangkeras
Software = baranglumbut
Joystick =batang gembira
Plug and Play= cucuk dan main
Port = lubang
Server = pelayan
Client = pelanggan

Try to translate this :
That server gives a plug and play service to the client using either hardware or software joystick. the joystick goes into the port of the client.

Now u know why?

YES!!!

they were getting bored at waiting. the 2 children looked around and the elder saw the word YES which stands for Year End Sales. So the elder one asked the younger one what does Y-E-S stands for. Then he think and think and shouted:' You're Extremely Stupid!'lolx

No Outsiders XD

2 children were playing online game, So the elder one went AFK and went down to check on the TV then walked to the kitchen to check what's for dinner. Suddenly the younger one asked the elder one: ' hey where are you?' Mother quickly replied: 'he is in the chicken!' lolx

( actually she meant in the kitchen)XD

Ulser

A boy told his mother: ' Mum!, i got an ulcer.'
His mother quickly replied: ' Use dental floss!'

(Lolx, its gonna make it worse!)

Dont Dare Us

A malay boy was playing 'Aim the Basket' so the boy tried to throw the rubbish into the dustbin but missed so the girl said: ' hey, don't litter the place!'Then he dared her : 'You try throw!' and gave her a piece of crumpled paper. She aimed the dustbin properly n threw. Weee~~~SCORED!!! Then the boy say: ' That was just your luck, i can aim too!' Then he tried and tried but they failed over and over again. XD

Evening Dinner

It was a Grand Evening Dinner where everyone dressed up GRANDLY in gown and tuxedo with bow ties, which usually those rich people held. There were some entertainments which dinner was served, some singers singing, dancers dancing, magic show etc. Suddenly one of the singers went to one of the tables and chose a person to sing. The guy was so shy so he only 'sang': 'Baby-' lolx!. Then the singer went to another table and picked another guy to sing. The guy was eating at the moment so he said:'Maikacau Maikacau!' XD, while 'hand dancing'. XD. Everyone was shocked because of the way he shook his hands and when he talked with his mouth fulled. he was like shooing a fly but also twisting his hands like the paramecium. >.<

Dinner

It was late that night, we hadn't have our dinner yet, so we thought of trying the Bak Kut Teh. On the way, we suddenly changed our minds by just looking at the other restaurants, so we U-turned.but there was no parking slots. We got annoyed and changed our minds again to go to the Bak Kut Teh restaurant. By the time we reached there, it was really late, so we just order as quick as possible, the normal usual dishes and because i don't eat pork. Dad had to order some vegetables like mushrooms etc. But they were all sold out. so it turned our that i only ate plain rice and 2 clices of vegetables. XD

How Forgetful

We went to a camp. We hadn't had our dinner and the teacher told us that we have to make our own dinner. It was Barbeque n he ordered us to bath. I was like WTF, it would be soo dirty, so i refused to bath and planned to bath after i had my meal. But the teacher insisted and even teased me so i was soooo annoyed and i straight away went to the shower room and bath. After i bath finished. I only found out that i didn't bring my towel and garments. I was so scared and worried, so i borrowed my friend's towel and wrapped around myself and ran out. How unfortunately, the malays were praying that time and they surau's door was open, i didn't bother it and just quickly ran to the tent and dress myself. Luckily none of them saw so i was safe^.^

FootBall Smash

We were on our way to shopping one day, and caught in a traffice jam beside a soccer field. suddenly one of the football players kicked the ball really hard and almost hit our car. Luckily there was a black posche came and stopped by our car. BANG! the ball hit the black posche. The driver was an indian. He quickly stopped n checked his car. Its ok, its alright no harm done. The indian stared at us, as if he were saying: ' You are so lucky, i sacrificed my car to save urs!' XD

InTr0dUcTi0n

Hi, welcome to my blog, im new here. i dun hav mucch thing to write so i will just post anything that passes through my mind ^.^ . so kindly be patient for any updates